If I could just turn back time…After doing it I always feel a deep regret, but remembering it is irresistible and delicious, to savor again each moment, each cut, each gesture, each drop of blood. It wouldn´t take too long for me to want to do it all over again. Today, when I woke up the desire came back again…but it always ends coming. Respectfully, and slowly, I glued the small strand of blond hair in the scrapbook. After that, I wrote down my journaling. This is the story behind the strand of hair. Sometimes, I would just journal the names, dates and occasions that the strands refer to. Other times, I would tell the complete story, and include some special details.
Harold was in the kitchen with Jane, his mother, and they were taking breakfast. Although Harold´s father had died ten years ago, his chair was kept on the table. The whole house was left like he had never died. They were reading the morning newspaper. It was one hot summer morning, and it seemed to want to melt everything all around.
“Harold, dear, could you please give me some bread?” asked Jane.
“Here it is mother.” Harold promptly acquiesced.
“I need you to do some errands for me this afternoon. I need you to go to the grocery store, and to the pharmacy to get my medicine, the doctor said I couldn´t go without it” said Jane.
“That is all right mother, I will go there after I go to Mr. Smith´s. He has a leak in his bathroom pipes and needs me to check them today” replied Harold
“That is all right Harold, but you go right after work, right away, because the last time you went to do my errands you came home too late. Ungrateful son, knowing that I needed my medicine by eight o´clock. You got home at eleven thirty! Knowing that I would be here alone, and that I needed my medicine by dinner time! It is too dangerous for you to be out there at that hour of night!” complained Jane
“Everything will be fine this time, mother dear, everything. You will take your medicine on time this time. I have everything under control! “ replied Harold
“Oh! Harold dear, you do everything wrong….I don´t know what to do with you….” said Jane
Harold began to feel the rage growing inside of him, but murmured between the lips:
“Everything will be fine! I am telling you!”- answered Harold.
“Harold dear, have you read this news in the newspaper? It says that Gladys, Mrs. Smith housemaid has been missing for almost two weeks now. Mrs. Smith is trying to find her, she says that if anyone has seen Gladys to contact her. Did you knew her, Harold?” – asked Jane
“I have seen her once, crossing the street. She was going to the bakery.” answered Harold.
“Before I forget, Harold dear, tomorrow you must go clean and declutter the basement. I don´t know what have you put there that smells so bad! Oh, my dear son, you don´t think of your mother´s lungs!” cried Jane.
The hours had already passed through the night. The silence imposed itself to the world. The tall forest trees draw frightening shadows by the full moon light. Lasting was the earth´s damp smell. The stillness was briefly interrupted by the wind shaking the trees, by the rustling of leaves fallen to the ground.
The woman lied in the ground, motionless. She had a night gown on, that the light of the moon tinged white. I had been observing her during endless time, enough to see if she moved, if she was alive or dead.
During this whole time she didn´t move. She was dead. Good. But now, how am I going to take her home? I was just wandering through the forest, trying to calm the desire I felt growing in me. I had nothing that could help me carry her home. Her skin is soft and cold. I have to be quick and think how I am going to carry her.
I came back home and grabbed a few garbage bags, a butcher´s knife and a hammer. I returned to the wood, to the place where she was laying. There is nobody there. I am thunderstruck. The woman was cold, dead cold.
Suddenly I heard a noise at a small distance, and find the woman crawling. She was alive! Without her noticing I hit her with the hammer, and she fell down. She tried to get up and I hit her more, and this time she falls down in silence.
Slowly I begin the sweet task of severing her body in two. I placed the upper torso in one bag and the lower torso in another. She will be going home with me. When she comes to life, she will be my ragdoll…